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Cape Cod Scrabble Tournament, 2005.

Have I mentioned I love this game? I went 6-6 this tournament, and that says so very little about how the games actually went. Sometimes, just like in many other pursuits, I feel off or sluggish or just out of it. This weekend, I felt on. On on on. I felt fierce and smooth and sharp-edged. So take the six losses and feel that rush.

Things just keep falling into place. My ex-mother-in-law, a woman I have always admired and always will, asked me how I was doing yesterday, and I said immediately that I am coming to a place of equilibrium and peace. Pretty amazing to feel this way; to an outsider, it must look very different. I’m heading into my forties, newly divorced, rather job-free (ha ha), living too far away from John… but we have the beginnings of plans and a base so solid you wouldn’t believe it even if I rambled on for hours, so I won’t!

What is the next step? The question came from an unlikely source, but honestly, it is a great question and we are attacking it with vigor and eagerness. What is the next step?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I envy the feeling; keep it as long as you can. Today I learned how far I was from being an adult. Something happened to shake my life up a bit, and I froze, if only for a moment. In that moment my values were tested, things I took as given were questioned, and I'm not sure how they've turned out.
11:13 PM
listeme said…
I don't think I've had a single day yet where I have felt like an adult the whole day through. Maybe that inner child stuff isn't just claptrap after all! Although I usually am tempted to throttle my inner child, I admit.
11:05 AM
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