Do people really mean it when they say they just want what's best for everyone?
This has been a very long week -- perhaps 16 or 17 days, at least. I have been offered -- and accepted -- my younger sister’s finished basement for the next year and a half. This will be a major cost-saver for me and a big help for her (she has two toddlers and is expecting a baby in August.) So that was a humongous start to the week. My other sister and her teenaged son have had to make some really hard decisions. She gave me permission to quote her: “spent yesterday at the hospital with my son. about eleven hours. sitting here writing and rewriting this entry trying to find just the right words. how to explain-- he is not healthy. he is mentally ill. he is not safe at home. none of this really covers it. so here's one image from the day. we walk into the east wing at maine med escorted by security. the very nice guard LOOKS like a skinhead but actually has incredible kindness and compassion for my snarly boy. he tells us gently that he has to check ian for weapons and sharp o...
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The giveaway is the word 'just.' If they say they 'just' want anything, they're selling something. Usually it means they are (a) willing to be the arbiter of what is best for everyone, and (b) willing to apportion whatever compromise will be required to approach that mean. Usually by assigning it to you, with the next phrase: "Be reasonable."
On the other hand, who has ever heard the phrase without the 'just'? "I want what's best for everyone." Sounds a bit grandiose. Sounds impossible. Sounds obvious. The 'just' tones it down. If you 'just' want that, your motives are good! You're a good person.
On the other, other hand, who has ever heard, "I just want what's best for Nicole -- I really don't care what happens to Ashley"? Or: "I just want what's best for the team -- I really don't care what happens to me."
We have heard this of course. And it's quite refreshing. Now we're getting somewhere. We have an idea where you stand. That you do have a stand.
Where everything is given an equal gloss of impossibly easy goodness, it's harder to find truth.
Then again, maybe I misunderstood the question. :-)