It’s January 31. I’m sure you all know what that means! Yes, it’s time to give Marsh some advice.

Here’s my little dilemma. I like the way this blog is going. (I know, some of you think it needs a bit more spice, excitement. To quote one reader: “what you need is more scrabble porn.”) But I also want to take advantage of some of the features of livejournal, particularly the community features. So I was thinking about (and actually made) a more scrabble-oriented version at livejournal. Maybe I will take some of my general scrabble posts here and expand upon them over there. I don’t know. I don’t really want to just have two identical blogs. Honestly, though, I don’t want to only post about scrabble over there, either.

So. Advise me!

This was in the mail:

Life’s Too Short To Clean Your Own House.

A lovely brochure, featuring a lovely couple, with two lovely blond children, sitting in a lovely family room. The dad is reading a book with one of the daughters. The mom is laughing over a laptop with the other daughter. A pretty picture.

Short answer portion of the quiz:
1. Why did the advertising folks choose to put two girls in the picture instead of a girl and a boy?
2. Why did they choose to have the mom pose with the laptop?
3. Who cleans the housecleaners’ houses?

Bonus question: are the perky college students pictured on the inside of the brochure real housecleaners or just models?

I don’t need another puppy. I don’t need another puppy.

Guess what this is.



Here’s a hint.

Eighth grade mall dilemma.

Say Ashley and Nicole have been best friends since kindergarten, but now, because of a suspicious incident at last week’s dance, Ashley has decided that Nicole is out to Steal Her Boyfriend. So she doesn’t want to hang out with Nicole, of course. Nicole is furious that Ashley has accused her of such a thing. Ashley’s boyfriend isn’t even that cute!

So, Nicole doesn’t want to hang out anywhere – I mean ANYWHERE – that Ashley might be. Unfortunately, the mall is still the best place to hang out, and she is not going to stop hanging out there, for god’s sake, not because of that horrible Ashley certainly. But clearly it wouldn’t hurt to try to show up there when she knows Ashley won’t be there, like during Ashley’s bassoon lesson on Thursday night or Sunday morning when Ashley’s family is at church. But there is a problem. If she only goes to the mall at those times, then Ashley will hear about it and know that Nicole is only going during times when she knows Ashley won’t be there. So obviously she has to take some riskier actions. An even bigger problem is that she doesn’t know if Ashley is also trying to avoid her. Maybe Ashley wants to “accidentally” run into her at the mall so that they can make up. If that is so, maybe Nicole would consider doing so as well. So should Nicole cleverly try to accidentally run into Ashley? And how can she figure out what Ashley wants?

This is a very hard problem for Nicole to figure out.

Obviously this is somewhat similar to the prisoner’s dilemma, but there are intriguing differences.

“Like generations
before us, we have a calling from beyond the stars to stand for freedom ...”

Maybe George Bush was talking about God here, although I kind of thought the God crowd thought about God as a bit closer than, say, Andromeda. But I’m very happy to think of Bush sitting out on a rock by a lake, squinting and grimacing, trying to pick up what his imaginary friends from other galaxies are telling him. Maybe my imaginary alien friends and his imaginary alien friends party together once in a while. I mean, if you’re going to imagine stuff, you might as well aim high.

Let the weeping and wailing begin.

It’s SOWPODS time.

(For those who don’t know what the heck SOWPODS is: SOWPODS is the dictionary the rest of the world uses. The U.S. uses its own dictionary, and that’s what is used at most of the tournaments I attend. But for now it’s SOWPODS time.)

I like seeing how people live. What books do they keep next to their toilets? (And they better read in the bathroom!) Do they alphabetize their spices? Do they have phones in every room? What about lights? Do you see their house glowing from miles away? Is there a fire extinguisher in the kitchen? Flashlights? Magic marker happy faces on the wall, five-year old shoulder height?

It’s like archaeology. Our houses and schedules say so much about us, if we care to look.

Bonus question: is 8-foot chain link fence sufficient to contain a Basenji? What if it is a genius Basenji, like my little Curie? What if there is snow on the ground? Show all your work.

I thought I was just being dumb. The trivial pursuit questions weren’t making any sense. “Huh??” I asked after every question. I couldn’t even figure out which nouns the questions were looking for. Perhaps it was the wine.

“What prolific novelist’s book jacket photo did the Devil Rays pepper with pushpins, after his visit preceded an 11-game losing streak, in 2002?” Read aloud.

You be the judge. Wine? Or incredibly poorly written questions?

Ideals are tested in the rain.

You know, like: park far away from the store. I say this all the time. It’s good for the heart. Let the little old ladies park close in. The pregnant women with little kids.

But, ugh, it’s really really cold and rainy and windy tonight. Besides being uncomfortable, that’s bad for my hair. I just have to hope I don’t see anyone I know.

My scrabble rating as of today is 1695. It has been a little higher than that, but I’m marking an official line here: January 1, 2005, I’m at 1695. What will it be on January 1, 2006?

This week’s scrabble news/progress. Let’s see, I went 3-1, won 20 bucks.

The club situation was awkward, though. Right after I arrived, Bob arrived, and we paired up. He won the first game. Then the entire operation had to move to a member’s house, because the community center was closing early for holidays. When we got there, the other director said, a little hesitantly, “Bob, you want to play Marsh? You two are the two highest rated here.” Bob said yes. (He doesn’t enjoy playing lower rated players, I don’t think.) I said, kind of jovially, “good, I can win my money back!” But I had the sense that the other players thought that I didn’t want to play with them. Okay, it IS good for my game to play against players like Bob. Especially for money. But I don’t want to irritate other players, either.

(The club member who hosted the gathering spent the first 20 minutes or so in the family room haranguing her elderly mother. At one point, I swear, she said, “Do you hear me? I’m sick of this. I’m going to put you in a home.” We all kept our heads bowed over our boards. Next time I’m going to go in and sit with the old lady and let Bob play the crabby woman.)

The next few months will be a little busy here, but I have started reading through the old Medleys I got for Christmas and I’m continuing my study. My version of study is a little eccentric, but it works for me. So now I just have to coordinate time and money and decide upon the next tournament…