From the warnings in the back of the Life textbook: If one sleeps over at one’s old house to take care of one’s own kids while their dad is on a business trip, and if one is pleased with how calmly and smoothly everything is going and has gone and seems to be likely to go in the future, one should not be surprised when one’s silly dog decides to have -- oh, what should we call it? diarrhea? -- in the master bedroom on the white carpet. One should be careful not to say anything too terribly vile to the dog while scrubbing away at germy spattery spots with old white gym towels. Note: one should be especially alert to the smirking meanness of the universe. The universe has been known to send along vicious wasps to sting one on the ring finger of the left hand, causing one to nearly faint from anxiety.
Comments
I can just hear them back at their lair...
"Sweet! That yuppiemobile was loaded!"
"Hey dipwad, help me unload this stuff."
"In a second, grandma! Check out this GPS!"
"OK if you're not gonna help, at least dry the tools and put them away."
"Where does the jack go?"
"Oh criminy, do I have to do everything? Move over, clown. There. Now hand me the lug wrench."
"It's not here."
"Idiot. Look in back."
"I'm telling you, it's not here. I looked everywhere."
"I swear to god, if you left it behind... I'll do the next one with your teeth."
"I could go back for it."
"You're a moron. Help me with these wheels."
Also, um. I don't think thugs say "criminy" much these days.
:-)
Why art thou leering at Marsh's ......
Sorry, but else would a rearview do? :)