I have a confession to make. Ready?

I really don't like Seinfeld. Let me make that stronger, in fact. I dislike the show. It is funny. It is hilarious, really. I've probably seen every episode. The writing was great, the actors, the directors.

But I don't like it.

(Interestingly, I've done an informal poll over the years and most – as in all but one – of the people that I've found who have disliked Seinfeld have been female.)

I also don't like talent shows of any kind, particularly if anyone I know is in them. I've paced a lot of hallways in my life waiting for talent shows to finish. My heart in my throat, my fingers ready to go to my ears (lest I hear anything).

Then again I've been known to run out of the room during crucial plays of professional ball games (so I won't see my team "fail"). I missed several of the Patriots' key plays two years ago as a result. And there's no way I can bear to sit and watch the balance beam competition in women's gymnastics. "Ack, any moment she's going to slip and her career will be over!" But – I'll return to see the replay of her fall.

The suspense kills me.