When they were little, I could take them to the store – any store – and point out how cool it would be to go dressed as, say, Peter Pan. "Okay!" And off we'd go. Pouf the hair, spray some glitter around, toss them out the door with a grocery sack. Yeah, yeah, at least one adult went along. Then at the end of the evening, I would collect the parent tithe. Ten percent of all the candy. Plus extra Reeses peanut butter cups.

Now they want to be clever. Em is going as a "vs." sign. Her two friends are going as Bush and Kerry. Chris is going to a party as "the spirit of Halloween." I have no idea what that means. Apparently it requires: a janitor costume, long black fingernails, and a cane, and some other stuff I've forgotten.

Aaron is a very sophisticated vampire. He's wearing his tuxedo shirt. Ironed.